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How not to sell your writing service

8/28/2020

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Prelude
​​

​​From an email blasted to my inbox:
​“After skimming through your website, I strongly believe that you could greatly benefit from our high-quality blog writing service.”​​​
My thoughts 

​Dear Sender:

Where to begin?

I have no interest in a would-be vendor who skimmed through my website. I want one who pored and emerged with specific, useful recommendations.

But then, I doubt that you even skimmed. I suspect you obtained an email list and clicked SEND with no further thought. Else, you would have known that, right or wrong, I fancy myself a writer. Armed with that information, you might have thought better of “you could greatly benefit from our high-quality blog writing service,” anticipating that it could come across as something of a slap.

If you didn’t skim, then you lied. I loath misleading statements from people trying to sell. Of course, not having skimmed, you couldn’t be expected to know that.

But suppose I’m wrong and you really did skim. In that case, you score abysmally low in the empathy department. That’s a problem for any writer, for good writing begins with knowing your reader.

All of which argues against the alleged high quality of the writing you hope to sell me.

I must reluctantly conclude that I could not benefit in the least, much less greatly, from your high-quality blog writing.

Postlude
​

Note to readers: I didn’t email this reply. If the hapless vendor wishes to read it, he’ll have to skim my website.
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Not even Melville was immune.

8/18/2020

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You don’t have to be a writer to appreciate this wonderful tribute to writer’s block from Gary Larsen. In deference to Larsen’s copyright, I have masked most of the image here, but you can view it au complet on his website by clicking anywhere on the box below or by clicking here. Enjoy.
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