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They is here.

3/31/2025

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IN EIGHTH grade English, Mrs.* Antoniaza told us that the singular pronoun for a group of mixed or unknown gender was he–his–him. Always. Female students objected. Too bad, Mrs. Antoniaza replied. Rules were rules.

But language is dynamic. Grammatical rules do not dictate but reflect usage. Indeed, a little over ten years later, feminist sensibilities had rightly succeeded in overturning the he–his–him rule.

​I am all for the fairness underlying the change but not fond of the awkward he or she construction. Not to worry. A bit of finessing is all it takes to avoid the dread phrase and still honor the fairness. (I share a few tips here.)

In the 1980s, a colleague with a Ph.D. in English predicted that the already informally acceptable they–their–them would become standard. I wasn’t so sure, but today, not for reasons he or I could have anticipated, American usage indeed seems headed that way.

So, sorry, sticklers.** Even if the use of they–their–them as singular pronouns grates on your ears, it is no longer “incorrect.” Still, writers must take care to avoid confusion. Again, a bit of finessing can save you. That’s why some of us call writing “work.”
______________________
*No, not Ms., thank you very much, she told us.
​**Not really sorry.


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